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When life gets busy

So i haven't posted anything in a very long time... so in the time I've been gone, I've been very busy with academics or well trying to be.i also have a girlfriend now whom i love very much. I must say this is by far thee most difficult relationship i have ever been in, but i will fight for us to stay together. sometimes it's so hard though...sometimes i just wish i had answers to some of my questions.

I'm already wound up...

I don't leave for my divorce court date for nine days and I'm already frozen in place... I don't know how to deal😓

Chapter IV

He started to hit the booze really hard. Got out of control, mad at the world. He hurt everyone around him. Lost a lot of friends, got a bad rep for being more trouble than he was worth.

Things came to a head when his wife threatened to leave him. He quit drinking and started looking for a day job. He got off easy on the next round of depression; his son was born and though he was scared to death, he was proud of and loved the baby.

It didn't last. The man's mother died, his family turned on him, business went south, money was tight and circumstances conspired to disallow the man from grieving.

His life was about to turn upside down, for the first time...

Chapter III

So, five years went by. The boy became a young man. He started digging into the guitar, playing his ass off. By the time he was seventeen he was playing in bars. Probably the best five years of his young life.

Then, when he was eighteen, the depression and anxiety hit him again. He was frozen in place for three months, tortured and afraid to leave the house. This would prove to be a pattern for the rest of his life.

The young man studied carpentry, then went to university. He got enough credits for a degree the same year the next depression hit. He walked away from college. And sank into a deep funk for several months...

Once upon a Time, Chapter II

So the boy grew up. He never fit in. Had a few friends, mostly all the other outcasts in his class. He grew apart from the guys in his community. In fact, he started then to pull away from people, to mistrust them. Years later, when he remembered the facts of his upbringing and the thoughts that went through his head at this time, he wondered that he didn't become a mass-murderer or a serial killer.

The mitigating factor, as it happens, was probably illegal drugs. The boy (now an adolescent) discovered a plethora of drugs when he was twelve and thirteen. Although the young man discovered weed during this period, LSD was his favourite. He did too much and there were about six months' of memories that just disappeared.

In September, when it was time to go back to middle school, the boy found himself in a new school with no friends, his family had moved and his mother had started dressing him. He didn't remember any of his troubled times. All he knew was that he had no friends, he was in an unfamiliar neighbourhood, living among outlaw bikers, hookers and drug dealers.

The only way the young man could get any peace was to purposefully start fights with the tougher guys in the new school. Winning didn't gain him new friends, but it got him left alone. He spent most of that school year after Christmas holiday sitting at home, crying and smoking weed.

more later...

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