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Life up to now

Hello. I don't know where to start. Or how. Or why I'm even writing this. I never usually open up; at least my friends say I don't. I just feel like I can't because of my age. People always seem to think that 15 year old girls like me "fake" these problems for attention but trust me, attention is the last thing I want.

I feel lonely. So extremely lonely, all the time. Almost like somebody reached inside me and pulled out everything I used to be, leaving cold and darkness behind. When those feelings began, I felt I could cure them by eating. That's how the whole binging/purging thing started. Then, when I gained weight and I felt like I was losing control, I felt a strange need to starve myself. It's quite ironic really how food has now consumed me.

I can't tell my family, even though they're so very loving and supportive. And I can't tell my friends because they're all so happy and I hate ruining things. I need to tell someone but I'm scared people will find out what I do, all at the same time. What should I do? Any advice would be great. Thanks for your time...

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