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7
Aug

DESERTUS

Maybe it's my fault i don't have any true friends. I have a wonderful fiance, so i can't complain about that, but i dont have any friends. i just lost my best friend because she started dating my ex whom is the one person i would mind that she dated. i also recently found out that she has considered us not friends since before i considered us not friends. she was still talking to me, pretending to be my friend, after she'd told someone else that we werent friends. And because she doesnt like me anymore, niether does my other friend. and every other person i thought was my friend, over the last few weeks, i have found out that theyve all betrayed me in one way or another. Is this my fault? Did i do something to deserve this? I just need someone. One friend i can trust. I dont have anyone at this point besides Jared. It hurts. i am beyond grateful that i have him. h means more than the world to me. but i need someone i can talk to about everything and anything and trust not to hurt me, someone else. I need someone to be my friend. i have jared, but i cant always go to him. it's too hard on him and i hate hurting him just because i feel bad. I hate myself for putting him through everthing he goes through with me. so maybe its best no one else has to g through it too. i'm not sure. i just want this pain to go away, and i want someone to talk to, spend time with, and have sleepovers with again. someone i can call my friend.  what do i do? i can't figure it out. i dont trust people because ive been hurt so many times. so how do i let someone else in?

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