 the simplest thingsStrange sometimes how the simplest things are the most enjoyable, This morning, I got up early and had a cup of coffee with some jam on toast, and , to me ,at that particular moment, it seemed to be the best of meals ever.....Wow! Seems like a promising start for the day!
To sleep or not to sleep ?I never had too many difficulties dropping of to sleep in the evenings, nor was I ever the kind that looks at the cielling , tosses and turns in bed for ages, I always slept reasonnably well, however, it seems that working so many nights , for so many years has finally affected my sleep pattern, I am presently sitting at the computer, head bursting with ideas, itching to write , but unable to put my thoughts in order , or at least, not enough to produce a coherent and meanigfull post, I am simply too tired now. Also, after so many years spent alone and wallowing in my own negative thoughts, I suddenly became "Bulimic " for information and communication, be it other people's blogs, newspaper articles, Tv documentaries, or simply conversations with friends and colleagues. It looks like the anxious side of me has stepped (slightly) aside, to allow my inquisitive mind to breathe, I like the feeling, hope it lasts. Wakee Wakeeee !!! rise and shine!Thursday morning,6:30 am, I 've been up already for ages, since I 'm still "recovering " from the night shifts, treated myself to coffee, croissants , and jam, reflecting on the past few days, and counting my blessings. At work, I had a long conversation with a young colleague full of energy and enthusiasm, then came home and read some interesting articles on the internet, lastnight, I watched online a shocking documentary on compulsive hoarders, I did recognise a bit of myself, and thought, I don't want to be that!!! Now,a little bit more action please! Just another WednesdayHi everybody! that time of the week again, finished night shift this morning, now emerging from a rather refreshing sleep, what to do with the forthcoming time off? Brush up on my time management skills, If I can do it at work, why can't I do it at home? I can complete tedious adminstrative tasks in the allocated time, whilst being constantly interrupted by either crew, or passengers , the said tasks require concentration, and often involve figures, (not my strongest point), but the level of noise around me is very high, multitasking is a must. This carries on for twelve hours in a night, for seven nights in a row, so why the hell am I freaking out at the thought of doing my of housework? more training required........ voicesIt's mid afternoon as I write those words, I was going to try and be a bit more efficient today, but I did not yet accomplish anything major.I fought the panic caused by the missed phone call, and still do not know who called, as I did not even look at the phone , I then fought the urge to try on many different outfits and spend ages getting every details , be it make up and accessories,"just right", because, no, I did not want to spend yet another whole day doing just that, as I know that my obsessive pampering is turning into an abnormal behaviour. I then decided to make somrthing to eat, opened the kitchen window, to allow the steam from the simmering pan of pastsa to esacape. That's when I heard a conversation from the street down below, I did not hear the words, as they were partly drowned by passing cars, but it sounded animated enough,and, I began to believe they were talking about me. I was well aware that the open window was a giveway of my presence. The saucepan full of pasta needed my attention , but I feared that if I moved, whoever was downstairs would catch sight of me, it took me several minutes to make myself switch off the cooker and drain the pasta, but even I , crippled as I am by phobias of all kinds , would not runaway from a burning pan on a cooker, as it is simply dangerous to do so! I ate my lunch, wrote these words, and now, all is quiet again, Oh! how long will I have to live like that ? when will I get better? :: Next >> | |||||||||
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