Where's the way out?.....are we there yet ?

Sunday afternoon, bank holiday, it is raining and cold.  My latest post have been somehow a bit erratic, used to praise myself for writing rather well, but I recently found it hard to focus on writing anything coherent, Some people like to rant about their grief totally spontaneously, on the spur or the momment, not me though, I like to let a feeling simmer and mature for a day or more before publishing it, watch the sensation or the idea take shape, change with the light or the music, evolves into something different altogether, or reaffirm itself, catch some little details from everyday life to add into my post later on .

But these days, the mood changes too fast, to fast for me to catch it. litteraly, I can step out of the the shower wearing rose tinted glasses, and by the time I walk to the kitchen to put the kettle on, I 'm down in the dumps. I have sime time off coming up soon, and I 'm going away, and I'm fretting about time, time to leave the flat tidy, (it has to , if it must stay unattended fo 3 weeks!), time to tone my woobly bits so I look decent in a bikini, time to book train tickets, time to sort my issues, so I can go away with a clear head, a clean conscience!, and relax, make the most of that blessed time I will spend with my Mum.

My mind is racing in a spooky way, but my world is not following quick enough, as for the outside world, it keeps throwing stuff at me , no mercy, no rest for the wicked!

Is it good or is it bad? .....redemption?.....remission?.....salvation?.....delusion?

Don't know where I'm heading, but heading there pretty fast, if Ihave to hit the breaks, I 'm sure to start skidding!