Where's the way out?.....are we there yet ?

 One more week at sea has ended, I was working the night shift, but managed to find the time to use the gym facility four times, and I can actually see a slight improvement, I think I must have lost a bit of weight, and in the right place with that! (tummy and hips) . Overall it was very good week, rather chilled and uneventful, just how I like it to be at work even though it very rarely is like that!

I came home yesterday morning, looking forwards to a good sleep, when you work nights, you get very tired, and at some point, all you think about is sleep.

Stepped throught the door , following the usual rituals, tiptoeing  up the  stairs, opening the door very slowly, check everything is as I left it and there is nobody inside,once indoors, I stepped into the kitchen to make a cup of coffee, and switched on the computer. After a week's rest, it can somtimes be a bit slow to start and warm up, so I sat in front of it anxiously staring at the black screen,praying that it will not fail to log, hoping no technical problem would occur that would prevent me from being reunited from my online friends, delay access  the  internet world  , this world I 'd been longing for since the previous Wednesday.                 My fingers wanted  to drum onto the table, but I knew it would not make the machine run faster, instead,I took a sip of my coffee and blinked. A split second later, the little arrow appeared, the start up tone sounded, the screen came alive, bliss!!!

First  quick check at my blog, I was very pleased to discover that one of my post had been very popular,and attracted many comments, then I logged onto my personal E.Mail. Despite my difficulties with mail and telephone, I am very comfortable with E.Mails, is it perhaps, so far so good, I never recieved any distressing ones, so, therefore, an E.mail is good, an E.mail is safe.  In my inbox was a message from my Dad , normally,messages from my parent tend to freak me out , for I fear that , either, thery found out the way I live, and are demanding explanation, either something has happened at home, for an anxious person, that is the norm to think such things, when the phone rings, when a letter arrives. So , in theory, I should have switched into panic mode right away, but then, something amzing happened, perhaps it was the lack of sleep that made me fearless, anyway I opened thee.mail staight away! And my good behaviour was rewarded by good news, efficient as ever, my Dad reminded me that I had a holiday coming soon, and that Mum had arranged a trip in the South( just for my birthday! Yippeee !!!  ) I replied immediatly, using the same short and efficient syntax, that I would be there soon.

 I felt a huge relief having got in touch with with my parents, so ,they were both fine, and not at all angry with me for anything, and, in less than a month, I wouldbe visitingthem in less tan a month time, what a graet way to start the week!

So Ilearnt, or acknowledged, that a message from the outside world, is not necessarily bad, evil or threatening, how empowering!

Still tired from the night shit, but resolutely in a cheerful mood, I decided not to crash into bed right away, and proceded to dye my hair to give myself esteem a boost, it always works, I then had a bath, and put on some comfortable clothes. I could not stick to my original plan, which was to stay up all day to enjoy the sunshine,no matter how tired, after all I had been awake for more than twenty four hours, and it was taking it's toll on my mind and body, so I tucked myself under the duvet, with the intention of getting up just in time for the shops, whishfull thinking! By the time I got up it was nearly evening, and I still felt drowsy, so I had a cup of coffee and returned in bed, and I sleps all night. I remember being in the middle of the bed, not near the edge, no, in the very middle, surronded by the softness of the bedding, warm,safe, cosy, and it seemed to me that it was the most desirable condition to be in, ever. I could hear occasionaly the faint noise of cars, the towards early morning, that of delivery vans to the supermarket, how nice it is I thought, how pleasant, not having to get dressed, and make my way anywhere cold and dark and damp, how nice it is to be curled up indoors and be able to dream about whaterver I want....tis is definitely not a bad life     :-)