Where's the way out?.....are we there yet ?

Hi everybody! I have not posted here since a long time,as my attention was focused elsewhere for most of the summer. It was a fine hot summer, during which  I got to know my new friend, James, a bit better, we have been dating for about three months now, the relationship is pleasant and uneventfull, devoid of any passionate feelings. I have a lot of respect for him, but my heart is cold , I needed somebody to to make me feel apppreciated again,  I wanted to be loved, but I did not want to love, I felt too vulnerable to love, and for the first time in ages, I actually got what I wanted. I 'd never thought I would date a man who  is older, whom I don't fancy physically, this was against all my previous beliefs, but my poor soul was too wobbly for passion and romance, all I wanted was a bit of comfort, a bit of approval for a change. He does the trick brillantly so far, he praises me, he seems to love me, wants to take care of me without patronising, bless him, and in return, I made him feel loved, he , who thought he would remain lonely , he is proud of me he says, he wants to show me off, how long was it since anyone had been proud of me?

This story kept me busy for a while, away from my computer more than I had wanted, I also went away on a three weeks vacation, and visited my family abroad. Now, it seems winter is settling in again, and I 'm a bit worried, that I will slip back into my old ways .....The dark side is still only one step away after all......