Where's the way out?.....are we there yet ?

Today was wet and windy, and most of the shops were closed, a good day to stay in indeed, but as I was in need of fresh air, I went out anyway. I intended to take a breather on the seafront, but did not make it that far, even though I was wrapped up warm, my ears started the freeze through my hooded fleece! Instead, I went round the old churchyard, and spotted the first flowers of the year! tiny and frail little white bells, (lilly of the valley?!) I was delighted at the sight of these, in an otherwise cold and hostile environnement, they symbolised triumph against adversity.I was still frozen however,and hurried towards warm and cosy flat,looking forwards to a hot drink and a good tv program.

To my surprise, James was waiting in his car, just outside the building, it turned out that, after all, he had been trying to phone me, but , for some strange reason, my phone had not picked the signal, my answer was that I had needed time to myself, he seemed rather hurt as we walked along the street in silence, we finally went for a coffee in Mc Donald's, where he managed to relax a bit, as for me, I was not feeling awkwards at all, just totally indifferent. I tenatively mentioned the need for a break, hoping he would get the hint, and he partly did, as we walked bak up the street,he said his goodbyes politely, suuggesting we meet another day. I was then taht I decided to let him in, and do things properly. I made him a cup of tea, and told him honestly everything: how I was never in love with him, but was in need of a bit of TLC, how I made the mistake to start dating him, thinking we would be OK,even thought I did not fancy him ,how I was still pining for John, despite the news of his marriage. I was honest, and did things correctly, I told him how I valued and respected his friendship, that I could not carry on lying to him anymore. He took it all in, accepted it, even agreed with me.We talked things through for nearly an hour, I thought I owed him that honest conversation, after all, he has not wronged me in any way, so , in return, I did the right thing. He said his goodbyes and left, and I proceeded to make dinner, I did not feel any different, to me, it does not even count as a break up, because we were never actually an item, we never went all the way  after all.

As I listened to the radio, I realised that, the whole country is getting ready fo Valentine's Day tomorrow, and wondered if I should not have better waited for tomorrow, just to make a lasting inpression, be remembered as the girl who dumped him on Valentine's day :)    But then, it the 13th,unlucky for some :)

Ok, all joking aside, I'm pleased I've handled it so well, I 've done the right thing.