Where's the way out?.....are we there yet ?

It 's already been a year since I started this blog, I remember it like it was yesterday, that trip to the Samaritains office, which turned out to be closed, the freezing cold, the coat I was wearing.

Yes, it's been a year, year of pouring my heart out, a year of reading other's stories. I remember the pain I felt at being isolated because of the phobias, the anxiety, the weird ritual with the phone, I also remembermy will to fight, my determination to beat it, and my despair following each relapse.

I 'm still fighting, I have not won yet, but, help is on the way, it will be a bumpy ride, but I might be a bit safer now. I swallowed my fisrt pill 23 hours ago, and a ready feel slightly, very slightly different, like something is slowly opening up, I know it takes up to three weeks to see some real results, but I definitely have mellowed since yesterday, or could it be that I am telling myself to be less anxious? Last night, I did not sleep much, I have not slept well all week, so , I did return to bed after  cups of coffee, to wake up again in the early hours of the afternoon, I was craving food, feeling sleepy, then exited, I could feel the little pill work it's magic inside my belly, then in my brain, welcoming the warmth it provided. No, I can't say today was totaly anxiety free, for the monster has fluttered before me on  a few occasions, however, it is early stages, so for the first time in ages, I can say I am on the road to recovery, for real,this time......

Another 25 minutes untill I take the second pill.....bliss!

have I finally found the way out?