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| « A month later | A year ago » |
9 days since I started taking Fluotexine, worked a week , on nights again, I did not feel too different while on duty, perhaps just a litte bit more more relaxed, but, it has been business as usual, had my annual review with my manager, and got praised for my achievements, I kind of knew I had done well this year,but , to have it comfirmed gave me a huge boost.
However,I came back on wednesday and felt rotten, terribly tired, and with a negative outlook on life in general, this was a bit of a set back, as I was expecting to start feeling better , comforted by the medicine, I decided to give myself time, put my discomfort down to the tiredness caused by working the night shift for so long. Wednesday and thursday passed in a dull slowness,something similar to a hangover. Then it happened , quite suddenly, I was drinking a cup off coffee in bed, I was my usual self, but the next minute, it happened, i actually felt something that ressembled happiness, it felt like a beautiful and rare butterfly had entered the room and was resting on the edge of my bed, I did not know what to do,get up and make the most of this sudden outburst of positivity, and get some chores done? but then, getting up might have scared the butterfly away, so I choose to stay still , and look at my butterfy marvel at it, still in disbelief, wishing very hard the feeling would stay.
I must have dozed off, for I awoke several hous later, I must have needed the sleep! The butterffly was still here, but looked tired and faded, so I revived it by putting some music on, something I have not done in weeks!
I went out to the shops, it took me less time than usual to get out, pausing atb the door still, with the door on the handle, but the fear was not there, a slight anxiety, but it was rather manageable this time, so, off I went!
I took the butterfly with me to go groceries shopping untill it started to fade again, the went home and had a cup of tea, and watched the marvel flutter, then fade, then come back, he fade, then retrurn...etc....
So, that 's how it feels when the pills start working, that is a nice feeling, I let it wrap round me like a soft woolly blanket, and I float away towards the horizon, I 'm not on top of the world, but I 'm in a good place already.
