Where's the way out?.....are we there yet ?

It has been one month and a week since the first Fluotexine capsule dissolved in my belly, and allowed me to see a new world unfold before me. A world where miracles do not happen, but where, with a bit of common sense and willpower , you can achieve a better quality of life. Fear has loosened it's iron grip, so I can walk, and breathe, and think. Admitedly, I am yet to take concrete positives steps to tackle some of the issues that led to the final breakdown, five years of dysfunctionnal living can not be undone in a month time , but at least, I feel a bit stronger, a bit steadier, a bit more focused.

One of the first improvements I noticed, was that within a few days of taking the pills,is, I felt a lot more confident, or a lot less self conscious about my physical appearance.I no longer spend hours deciding what to wear, no longer waste half the day discarding one outfit after the other, I still have the occasional "Dont know what to wear" moment but, what woman doesn't?I gained a few pounds, mainly because my appetite returned when I started the treatement, but, to be honest, it is nothing to worry too much about, I 'm not super skinny, nor overweight, just average normal womanly figure, I will not waste time or energy in slimming, for that is the least of my priorities. As for the compulsive hoarding of clothes and beauty products, I still have the odd urge to buy a bright pair of socks, or a cheap piece of bling jewelry, but, I try, most of the time , to stop and think, then realise that my life will not be better if I get one more pair of shoes, one more jar of body butter. And last but not least, I have secured myself an appointement with an eye surgeon in London, to discuss what can be done for my  right eye, severely affected by thyroid disease, I did a lot of internet reseach on the subject, apparently , in most cases, most patients return to nearly normal, with hardly any visible defect. Even though I am terrorised at the thought of the pain, the trauma of the surgery, the bruising and the anestetic, I 'm started to actually look forwards to this opreation  . Before the thyroid disease, I could say I was rather attractive( trim figure, good skin, long blond hair), then, it happened, my right eye started to swell up, and no ammount of medication could put it right. I can't say it was the only reason for my excuriating breakdown, but it certainly contributed to it. My doctor is very supportive, and seems to believe that there is a lot they can do, so now, I just wait and see,gather up all my strengh, and keep myself heathy and in good spirit in preparation of the big day.