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On the up

I have had a really positive week back at work and 1 week back on medication.  Feel my ability to cope and stay on top of things getting stronger every day.  Only down side is inability to sleep.  I can fall asleep but wake up in the middle of the night with my mind racing, unable to get back to sleep until morning.  Doesnt matter what Im thinking about, not always worrying just cant switch off.  Hopefully its an adjustment period to the drugs as I could drop off at any point during the day.

 

Really glad I decided to go back on medication because even this time last week I was under a black cloud of emotion.  I can sense the sun coming back.

Sea of emotions

Isnt it funny how your emotions go from one extreme to another in the space of a moment?

Writing my first post the other day seemed to help and get me thinking more positively about getting better.  You get to a point where you've had enough of being miserable and want out!  I usually get a bit manic then and start getting up really early to madly clean out cupboards.

Well true to form I have cleaned and tidied and washed ceilings etc until I wore myself out.

Phase two.... obsessive crafting.   Yep its here!   This is a good phase for me, though not sure the family agree.  I need the creative buzz to feed my soul but it becomes addictive so I dont want to do anything else.  Im being sensible and not letting it consume me because my boys are off school and need me.

Going to have online Cognitive Behaviour Therapy as Ive done Counselling more than once and didnt want it again.  Hopeful it will help.

I can see a way out of feeling crap this week so I will try to hold on to the feeling when I go back to work next week.

 

First post

Well here goes, I thought Id try writing a blog as a way of expressing myself.

Ive had depression off and on for 22years,received various medications, counselling and tried self help methods such as exercise, hobbies, hard work, rest and herbal remedies but its back again after only a year break.

Now on holiday from work but due back in a week and not looking forward to it at all.Cant understand it cos I love my job .

The black curtain is slowly coming down .  I cant seem to find pleasure in anything but got to keep trying!

Ive been trying since before Christmas to manage it myself and to a degree have had good weeks but the black always comes back in various degrees.

Now realising that I may have to give in and go back on medication but feel a failure for needing it again.

 

 

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