Well here goes, I thought Id try writing a blog as a way of expressing myself.

Ive had depression off and on for 22years,received various medications, counselling and tried self help methods such as exercise, hobbies, hard work, rest and herbal remedies but its back again after only a year break.

Now on holiday from work but due back in a week and not looking forward to it at all.Cant understand it cos I love my job .

The black curtain is slowly coming down .  I cant seem to find pleasure in anything but got to keep trying!

Ive been trying since before Christmas to manage it myself and to a degree have had good weeks but the black always comes back in various degrees.

Now realising that I may have to give in and go back on medication but feel a failure for needing it again.