BeautifulDisaster

Yes I'm supposed to be working but I am not. Just sitting here thinking. So unhappy so incomplete. I'm lost within myself. Each day I try to find ways to think better but I can't. So many things have occurred with this man that it's hard to let go. Things that are bad. It' s like my mind is not settling. It continues to think. What to do. I know the answer it;s just still hard. Sad part is he is only using me and I know he has often said it yet I have hung on. I pray for strength every single day. But how can I move on and still be happy. Thing is I dont think I can. I'm trying my best to study when I get chances for the asvab for the military. I need something something more .I need to escape .Run away fast. It's this thing called bills that clings me on. I need a break to run away from me. My mind is so cloudy that I need to run away from me. Will I ever be happy? I just so numb. So numb.