BeautifulDisaster

My clock is ticking faster than I want it to go. But I know this is something I have to do. Hard leaving yes but having the courage to leave means so much to me. I have tried and tried. Given this man my heart soul and every other part of me. He has torn me down so many times it just doesn't make sense. He can even watch me cry and not break a sweat. Is that really love at all? I walk around on needles just to please when I just want love back. Can I get a massage can I get a warm hug? Or just anything. My mind is numb and everything else. I pray each day to God that I make it through and I will be okay. I know he hears my prayers but I also must have faith. And that I do but so many times it just get so tiresome. I have so much work to do and so little time. I know there is a silver lining. I can not allow myself to leave for another man again. Just not worth it in the end. I just want to be happy and have a man to love me back. Is that too much to ask? And not take me for granted.