It is so wrong to be writing about this.  Talking about depression is not talking....it's whining.  I feel like a strong person does not need to talk about these things.  Like a kinder friend would not burden their friends.  I spent my life silently laughing at and despising people for their need to share.  I am in a place now where I am forced to speak with my friends about what is happening with me.  I don't know how to be honest without making them uncomphortable.  It is not easy.  In fact I am finding it to be extremely stressful.  They want answers.  They want me to calm them,  assure them that I will live, but It is very hard.  With something this important I need to figure out how to lie without lying.