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babbling

never done anything like this before but here it goes.

another one of those days that I'm just feeling crummy about everything.

bf is just playing videogames all night again ignoring me.

feels as though I shouldn't be here.

have no friends to confide anything to which hurts alot

don't know how everyone can have friends but I can't even have 1 good one

my bf doesn't know anything about me being depressed

its not like I'm depressed like I used to be

I know how to hide it pretty well from everyone

Feels like I've been doing it my entire life

Theres only been a few people I ever confided with about it and they are all gone now

Just feel like I'm messed up in some way from everyone else

Never been treated for depression but sometimes I feel like I should be

But if I ever do I'm afraid my family and everyone else will find out and judge me

My bf also never wants to go out and do anything with me which hurts alot too

Just makes me sad feeling like no one wants to do anything with me

I know I can be pretty negative sometimes..maybe thats why...I dont know

Just wasting away another night being alone yet not alone

Tired of feeling lost and alone

Some days its better than other days

I try not to beat myself up like I used but its hard sometimes

I have a great guy in my life that I'm mostly greatful of

I'm hoping one day I can have the strength to confide in him as well

For now I act as though nothing is wrong and keep my dark secrets to myself

Sometimes I just wish I could have just 1 friend that really cares about me

Making friends is just to hard for me. I'm just too negative about everything

Nothing ever lasts either. Meet someone nice and they end up leaving my life

Oh well..hopefully I will feel little better tomorrow..

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