Before I start, Japan I hope you can pull through this, my hearts with you all, disasters like this are just tragic.

Back to this, feeling very low again today after the high of my birthday yesterday, recently it doesn't take much to trigger me though.

When i'm depressed i've realised i keep it in till i'm alone, then i cry lots and then i focus on what i can do to make me forget. I think this is really important for anyone, to focus on something else, dwelling on the feeling is not going to help you at all.. as long as you have released the feeling first. So I thought what helps me, two things: music & reading. Music, i can't describe how much music helps me, yes okay sometimes it does make me cry more but it's something you can connect with, i'd recommend it to anyone, even if you don't particularly think you like it, type in youtube, or another video site, search a song you like and just listen to it, it'll help. Also reading, because it just transports you out of your world, you get so involved in the story after a while that you forget your problems and read someone else's. So if you're feeling down and alone, these two things can really help.

I love this site, it's like having a person to talk to where i can get all my feelings out and no one can see it, and no one will judge. I was on the chat room, the other day, (which if you haven't been on, go on, it takes your mind off things and you're with really decent people who understand you) and someone said 'younger people don't have problems, everythings easier for them, they just think they have problems.' I can see where this person was coming from, you don't have your whole life ahead of you when you're older, you've made more mistakes etc. BUT as a younger person i don't agree with this statement. No matter what age you are you can still have problems, perhaps even more so when you're younger because you aren't very experienced and maybe even a bit more vulnerable. So I just wanted people to understand that and listen to people, regardless of their age.

I'm going to stop babbling on now.

S.

recently i've been trying to resist the urge to cut my wrists, which i usually do when i just cant handle things. and tonight i still haven't cut.. but not cutting just makes me feel worse.

i can feel my wrists beg for the blade, its such an overwhelming urge, and after i cut i seem to calm down and end the state i'm in. things are just so hard at the moment. but thing is i don't have things half as bad as anyone else, i've read blogs on here, where people have serious problems and it just makes mine feel trivial.. so why are my problems making me feel like this? why can't i just be normal and handle being upset about various things without thinking about cutting/suicide?

i just feel totally alone, even when i'm in a room full of people. I hate that when you're smiling but inside your just completely breaking up and no one has any idea how you feel and all you want to do is tell someone.. anyone.. because maybe then they could understand what you're going through, and then maybe they wouldn't just pass you by.

I just want my life back from before i was depressed, before i go insane.

The picture below describes how i feel, i found it on google, hope no one minds.

A-Soaked-In-Tears-S. http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_dYeSX1oTvJY/TUJ0tMqzBuI/AAAAAAAAHQk/0Q9pZdoKMTw/s1600/cutter.jpg" alt="" title="how i feel" />

Been pretty happy recently almost managed to forget the depression.. But then boom it comes back and hits you harder than ever, all the urges come back and you find yourself sitting there thinking of death and how you just can't be bothered with life anymore, I hate it. Why can't I be like everyone else and just feel normal :/ It's not fair. I know this will pass and soon I will feel happy again, but how long will it take :( Considering going to see a doc about medication, but I don't want to become dependent on it :/ I'm only young, why should I have to feel like this? :/ S.

Save me.

Unhappy, understatement.

Illness? No, it's a way of life, but not one you'd ever choose.

Cuts, my body craves them.

I wish i could go back before i came this way.

Depression,(dih-presh-uh)3.The condition of feeling sad or despondent.' -It's so much more than that.

Ache, heart, ache, head, when will this ever stop?

Life you're getting impossible.

 

 

suicidal.

i'm so fed up of crying. i'm so fed up of the urge to slit. i'm so fed up of life.

what do you do when you get this far down the line? why keep trying?

 i'm so fed up of trying, when it just comes back the minute i think it's gone.

 it's messing with my head and no one understands. it's taking over everything i do and making it meaningless.

i just want to be back to normal again.