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Day 1

I live with my grandmothers and my brother because my mom has depression and has tried to kill herself many times, so they didn't want me to continue living with her. But everything I do somehow to them is wrong or faulty. I ask to bring a few friends for dinner and they ask: "You have friends?!" If I leave clothes on the floor I'm messy and dirty like my mother and I'm disrespectful to them, but if my brother does the same thing, it's okay, "because he's a man. Men do that." I have to clean the bathroom, but not my brother, "because he's a man. Men don't do that." I asked them for braces to fix my teeth, or glasses (I'm near-sighted) and they say when I start working and have money I can buy it, but my brother needs a new computer and they buy him one. $1800,00. But they couldn't buy me braces. I have to share the little I have with everyone, but not my brother. I'm so tired of this life, this constant demeaning. Everything I do is wrong, they say I'm crazy and inconsiderate and egotistical. That I'm never in a good mood. I have to stop eating what I want and what I buy with the money I earned I have to give to everyone. I'm sick and tired of this bullshit and the only reason I haven't killed myself yet is because I don't have the courage to jump out the window. Yet. I hope I can hang on long enough to save some money and move out of here. Maybe it will help.

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