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I'm falling apart again..

I don't know how this works or if anyone will actually read this. But I don't know who to turn to, or who to tell. so here goes...

I've been doing so well, for so long that everyone just seems to expect my happiness. But what most people don't understand is that I have manic episodes that eill eventually end. they can last up to 3 weeks but then I fall back down into a hole. I'm iin the hole again. But no one sees me. It's like there is a card board cut out of me and no one sees the true me. I am usually over looked and invisible to most.

At my school I get lost in the crowd. Often just talking to one person the entire school day. Sometimes I like it, like now. When I'm so or upset no one notices, and no one cares. But I do.

I feel so lost and confused. I really don't know what is going on anymore. Nothing in consitent in my life anymore. Everything has been changing. I feel lost in a spinning circle, dizzy, confused and unaware of what is going on around me.

I dont know who I am anymore. I keep thinking I found myself but then something or someone changes and I feel lost again. I know I shouldn't rely on someone or something.. but I don't know how to be content with is long enough..

I guess this is long enough..

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