cloudy54

I am not very good with computers.  I actually wanted to join an on line chat room but can not figure out how to access it.  This blog is as far as i got.  (I do apologize for my bad spelling if you see a funny word : ) )  Anyway, i joined this site today and a lot of the times I feel very depressed about life and i DON'T know why or how to help myself.  I have been to therapists, talked to the few friends that i have left and my husband who just doesn't GET IT and yet i still feel, well... like my nick name.  Cloudy.  I thought to maybe if i could talk to others who feel the same or who have BEEN there that it may help.  I have tried antidepressants that just make me feel worse.  I have tried drugs and alcohol and that makes me sick.  I have a whole rotten life story that i am sure many of you also have..one probably even worse.  I just do not know what to do to make it better. Any suggestions?  If someone could help me get on the live chat room, that would help too.  i have to sign off now but will return tomorrow (i hit a funny key and now my letters are slanted..DUH)   so if i do not respond right away it is not because i am ignoring you, i just do not want my husband to see me doing this because t believe in things like depression, they only occur on TV or in the weak.  HA HA  I call him SUPERMAN because he is indestructible.  Thanks for caring!!