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Me rambling on

I don't know if this will help or not but might as well give it a shot. I'm a 47 year old man who basically just lost everything I've worked all my life to get. It was discovered not too long ago I had broken my neck. No one knows how or when, apparently it had been like that for a while. Well, after all the medical crap I have been through (and still need more) they tell me I can't work. Well, since I can't work, and cannot get unemployment because I cannot look for work and diablilty takes freaking forever, I burned through all my savings, put myself even deeper in debt with all the medical. So of course the banks don't care about that, so out I had to go. Lost the house that would have ben paid off in about 3 years. Glad my vehicle was at least paid for so I still have that. So now, I have been forced to be either homeless or move back in with my mother. Not really a tough choice, but still a depressing one. So here I am, 47 and living with mom again. Don't get me wrong, I love her and am grateful she is there for me, but at this age it should be the other way around and I should be taking care of her. It really gnaws at me. Alot of the time I don't really see a reason to go on. I have never been married and have no kids, and I am only child as well. Other than my mom what am I still on this earth for? I haven't even had a relationship in 12 years. I am on so many medications for the neck, nerve damage caused by the neck and few other problems that have arisen too. I am tired most of the time but get very little sleep, mostly because of the pain but some from the stress and depression as well I'm sure. And to top it all off, I have now topped out at over 300 pounds from all the inactivity. Just one more thing to feel bad about I guess because I'm in no shape to exercise, hell I can barely walk more than 100 yards. I think I'm starting ramble on a bit so I will just sign off for now. I do feel a bit better, but it is going to take more than writing a blog to fix this. If anyone decides to read this, I sincerly hope your day is wonderful and fulfilling for you.

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