Well things are looking up this week! I started my secondment and its going really well. I feel like I've fitted in already and everyone seems really nice. They were short of staff yesterday and got thrown in the deep end a bit and swam. I feel pleased and think I'm making a good impression. I think I'm pretty much over the withdraw of stepping down on my tablets too. The future seems to be looking up at this new work place. I will have to go back in about a years time but I'll cross that bridge when I come to it. My motivation and energy has been at an all time low for months but I'm thinking that now I'm happy at work rather than anxious, stressed and down trodden, that my motivation might slowly return. I have certainly felt more able to do things when I get home from work this week. Looking back, no one Listened or respected me. I was made to feel that my opinions and problems did not matter. I was so unhappy in that atmosphere and thought that because they were all so critical of me that I was rubbish at my job and rubbish at communication. There was so much bitching behind people's backs that it really got me down. Where I work now they say my communication is much better than 2 and a half years ago (I now work with the senior staff member who has been making sure I was being trained properly the whole time I was at the other hospital) They seem pleased with the progress I've made in the last 3 days. I hope now that I will be able to start getting better. I think it will be a slow process to get back to being the old Delilah but I think the way is up now, not down.