 
I am just now starting to come out of a major depressive episode...What frustrates me the most is that no one around me truly understands what I am going through so I am left feeling isolated and ashamed. If depression was understood like cancer or other physical ailments I think depression would be much easier to cope with. I could call into work 'sick' or explain to my family and friends why I do not want to be dragged out of the house to socialize, and people would be sympathetic or understanding. Instead I feel like I have to hide my depression, and thus myself from the world in order to make everyone else comfortable, including myself. I have attempted to describe my depressive episodes to the people I am closest to but then I have to watch them as they struggle to fix me or make it go away. The conundrum is I either feel like a burden and hurt other people or I isolate myself and distance myself from the people I care about. So instead I have decided to write down my feelings in hopes that other people who can relate to me will not feel so isolated and ashamed.
1 comment
Comment from: shatteredglass [Member]
so true, i feel like that every time i get depressed. just go to work put on a fake smile act like nothings bothering me. avoid conversations, avoid friendships, avoid people in general. the thing that bothers me the most is when your really upset and your trying not to cry and someone asks, "whats wrong?" and you tell them, "nothings wrong, I'm just depressed i just feel this way." but they don't get it so they ask, "well why are you depressed?" frustrated you reply, "you don't seem to understand there doesn't need to be something to make me depressed, i just get this way nothing causes it and nothing can make it go away." then they try and comfort you try and say, "things will get better." after years of them trying to deal with your depression, they get mad. when they see you cry they say things like, "look at the little muffin, whats wrong now baby? gonna go cry some more?" you decide its best not to say anything so you avoid them feeling even more distant and alone because they are supposed to care for you and when your down they just yell at you and make you feel worse.. i so badly wish that normal people could just understand depression.
thank you so much for writing this post :] i completely relate
10/15/10 @ 02:57
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