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November 18th 2014

Hello, it's been a while, how's everything going? So, I have so much to tell I find it hard to form more than a sentence, so I' use topics this time, sorry if it bothers you

- This huge text I have been studing for the hole year (kind of like american SAT's) happened and I kind of went well, just have to wait for the results now, cross your fingers

- One night, I was pretty sad and I decided to pray, I dont really pray much even though I do believe in God but I asked for incentive, a sign if you I may say that, and the next day the school was fille with fliers and papers taped to the walls, thing for incentive, depression, anxiety and those "Take what you need", and that was pretty awesome

- I realized what my biggest fear is: Being alone for the rest of my life. I don't mean it in a needy way but I know I'm not very pretty, I'm fat and I'm scared no one will ever love, no one ever did up to this moment

-I started to organize my drawing and now I have a better way to express myself as an artist. My mom started to notice that it is not a 'kid thing'I actually need to draw and paint and that qualifies me as an artist even if I do omething else out of a living. She've been realy supportive and I couldn't love her any more than I already do

-Me and my friends were trying to plan a trip for next year and we realized we're growing, like we were talking about October/2015 but we have SATs like thing, called vestibular, than January/2016 and they'll be getting ready for college and I will (hopefully) be going to Germany for a year and we all have these stuff to do and it's not just plans, its stuff like college and life changing opportunities and that's slithly scary

 

I guess that's it, busy week :$ see you guys tomorrow maybe

November 11th 2014

I have nothing to talk about, seriously, today was a nice day, I've been having this thing for organizing my stuff (what is great 'cause evertyhting usually is messy when i comes to me), I'vebeen drawing a lot, under a lot of stress and having this annoying back pain all week.

Oh, and someone left a coment on a poem I wrote and it made my week, seriously, if you're reading this thatnk you so much, I've never written anyhting (and I kind of suck at it) so a good comment was really unexpected

anyway, good night strangers ;)

November 10th 2014

Hello,

today was a completely useless day, I slept, swam a little and drew something, and its about that drawing I'm monologue today.

drawing perfect balance

Yes, that's my name, whatever

This drawing is a version of the  Yin Yang, which in Chinese Philosophy shows how the opposites re complementary, including good and bad, there'sa little good in every bad and a little bad in every good action. When you're talking to someone and think their iopnionsare useless or just don't hear and aybe think it's ridiculous just try to remember this, there's a bit of good in every bad, try and hear them, who knows if you'll learn comething nice ;)

Acoustic Isolated Spotlight

The second the spotlight

turns to me

I beg for help

but no one can hear

the human ear

just hear what the eyes see

think you know someone?

That's not even a bit


The second the spotlight

turns to me

I can't help but let

my eyes to lie

sneaky monster

inside her mind

nobody cares

until she dies


I'll leave this spotlight

and run very far

hot and scary spotlight

full of do's and don't's

I'll do it my own way

I'll scream my own rhymes

I'll pitty people like me

under the spotlight

 

Bet on the destruction

A lonely girl in the middle of a crowd

Taking bets on when she'll break down

Don't cry or scream little girl

Keep those to yourself

I've got 10 bucks on 6 months

How long until your last break down?

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