May 26th, 2014
January 1st, 2014
I'm Listening to Wallflowers band now. I like this band. It soothes mysoul. There was one time I was playing their song "How far you've come" and it made me cry. The line that goes "a high wall is just a wall that makes you feel small but maybe it's there to safe you from a depth of a much bigger fall" stuck to me until now. It made me realize that sometimes our problems are there to make us see things in a different way. Maybe it's there to tell us no that's not the way to handle it. Hey there's a better way. Listen quietly. Calm down. It's all in your mind. Things that bother you. Switch it to more possitive things. Like music, art, gardening, sports, writing, just to name a few. You think you are alone but there are people out there feeling the same. But when you are down, it's like you can't get up. Something is pushing you down in that deep hole and want you to go deeper. In your thoughts, in your soul. So you start searching. Searching for ways to ease your mind. You turn to drugs, alcohol, gambling, fooling aroung, but you sink deeper still. Then you come back again asking, is there an end to this? Is there a way to be really happy? In the silence of your thoughts, you ask God please show me a better way. A smile, a hug, a laugh is only what I need. Not the money in this world. Not the status. Not pride. But symply LOVE. Love from my family and friends. Love just makes things much easier. I find that in my prayers and it really does help me. For how long I've prayed for my anxiety and depression to go away. Little by little it lifted. I'm not cured because I'm still taking medications but I feel much better than those days in the deep hole that I was digging for myself.