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I don't know what to say. I didn't even know what to put as a title. All I know is I wanted to say something, it's the only reason I even spent any time creating this account. I'm just a kid, well, a teenager. I was born on April 29th, 1996, which would make me 16 years old this year. I've spent a while being sad, mostly from stupid things like an aggravating brother or high school test concerns. And up until recently my little woes have been with those types of trivial things. I've always told my self that these are regular problems, everyone goes through them, and i was right. I'm still right. Now before i continue babbling and confusing who ever is going to read this i'm going to attempt to organize my article, only because this typing format is confusing to me.

Heres my real post:


My name is Joe, as in Average Joe, even though i'm, "Anything but". Which just makes me like everyone else in the world. In my head i'm depressed. Sad really. I'm not going to tell you i'm lonely and that I walk around the house all day doing nothing but watching sitcoms on the T.V. because i'm sure the readers standards for a person writing on a depression blog can already make that assumption. And i'm not typing this so that i can be like the other blog posters and see if anyone can help me feel happy again. I'm doing this because I know that by telling my story to the world it may just give me a little spark of a smile when i think about my life. I've been sad for a while, but with trivial things as i've said before. But recently i've noticed that my life's changed. A Women i've known since the second i started to breathe and see died on the day of the winter solstice in 2011. Her name was Beth and she was my aunt. He death from the cancer caused by her excesive smoking from a young age ended her life and it hurt me as much as a family death hurts anyone. But thats not my breaking point. It's not what drove me into the desperation of posting a story of my recent days on the internet. Her death may have caused the reasoning for me desperation, or it could all just be a coincidance. Beth wasn't my blood aunt, she was my mother's best friend since her Sophmore year in high school. Beth's passing caused quite the toll on her. She's been less patient and it seems, to me at least, her minds been somewhere esle for the last few months. My dad's been going up to the underwood more often, which is our neighborhood bar. He comes home reeking of sweat and beer. I hate that smell. I can't make my own dad look like a drunk to the internet so I'll cut him some slack. He's a smart guy, he's a good father (Dispite his gift to look angry with every emotion). He hasn't changed much with recent events but i'm still counting it as a minor negative in the grand scheme on my tale. Charlie, my brother, has been the worst. His ratty behavior has struck him with a minor in possession charge and his arrogance and selfishness burns my mind (And my parents) to the very core. He's a person i can say I... Dislike. He's been the nail in the head of my struggle. If you haven't already guessed it, the reason i'm sad is because i'm sitting here. Just sitting. And watching my family fall apart.

I wanted to tell someone that, I've been waiting to say that for months. I've been NEEDING to say that for months. I've wanted to find a soundless room and scream for the longest time and no. I'm acting like one of the other bloggers. Making dark metaphors and analogies like their pain is the worst of the worst. I shouldn't attack them i know, but i have to much discomfort with the social crowd than i'd admit. Where was I?... Oh yes the relief. I'm in the midst of possible closure and it's begining to feel good.

Though... I have no solution to my pains but time i suppose. To see what happens. Maybe there will finally be a breaking point or maybe we will continue to walk around the house unhappy until we pass (Or leave in my case). Maybe i'll tell you what happens later. If this site sends emails to a reply i may talk to you soon. if not than I don't know.

My name is Joe and i like to think that i'm average.

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