So this is my first time blogging about my life.. I don't really know where to start.

I first admitted to myself that I was depressed 2 years ago. I had been talking to my mom and as soon as the question "Are you ok?" comes up, I would begin to cry. So when I called my doc and balled on the phone to the receptionist I really realised I was depressed.

I started to use Celexa, used it for a while but then I realised that I still wasn't back to my 'normal' self.  I decided for some reason just to stop using the pills. Perhaps thinking that I don't really need them. I don't truly know, and I still don't.

I finally gave in, went back to the doc and got switched onto Cipralex. Apparently it's more effective and has fewer side effects.  I used it for a few months and felt a lot better... so I stopped taking them. I went through some symptoms of withdrawal. Mainly feeling like I was 'not there.'  After a few days that went away and I felt ok.  It has been a few months now that I have not been taking them. I've realised that depression never goes away.... I'm having down days and finally gave in and decided I need to use my pills again.

Today is the 3rd day back on the pills.  I have had headaches the past two days and have not been sleeping well. I am wondering if it is because my body is getting used to the medication again, or if it is just coincidence.

This time I am going to continue using my pills.  I want to get better... I hate always feeling alone even when I'm in a room full of people. I hope a day will come that I won't need these pills anymore.