So tired ...
December 18th, 2010
Tired. I am tired. But I slept for 12 hours last night. I feel as if I have spent my whole life being tired and I feel like I could easily sleep away the rest of my life.
Alone. I am alone. But I have my daughter here with me and I talked to my mom today and a few other people. I still feel alone. Really alone. Part of my likes to be alone at times. But I don’t like to feel alone.
Sad. I am sad. I have spent a good portion of my life being sad. And I will be sad tomorrow.
Hate. I hate this feeling. I hate that I suffer from depression. I hate that I am tired, alone and sad.
And here is the thing…. I know what depression is all about. I could write a book on the path to recovery. I can not always walk the path to recovery. But I can tell you how to get there.
Here is the other thing… I have hope, goals and dreams. I have many things in my life that I want to accomplish, things I want to do, places I want to see, things that make me happy.
Hope. I have a small glimmer of hope inside me. I hope I can take control of my life and release myself from the grip depression has on me.
Goals. I have goals. I want to get my doctorate in Psychology. I want to travel. I want to see the world. I want to fall in love with myself. I want to fall in love with a companion.
Dreams. I have dreams. I dream of a time when I no longer suffer from depression.