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How do you give up on a Loved one?

I still Love you and I still care, but I can no longer allow you to hurt me.  You say it is the depression that causes you to act the way you do to me and what you say to me.  I give up.  I have done everything I can to support you, feel for you, Love you, and in return you lash out at me.  I do not exist to you except to, except to?  I no longer even know.

Two months ago we were the married couple that everyone said they wanted to be like.  Now we are not even a couple.  I long for us again and I sit all alone as you go search what might make you happy.  You blame me when you are not happy.  I no longer know you or who you are now.

What else is there to say.  It is time for me to mourn my lose.  I pray that you will be ok.  I will Love you Forever, cherish the life that we had, and remain faithful to you.  I just can not go on allowing you to continue hurting me.

All My Unconditional Love Forever

Please tell me to hold onto Hope!

I wake up each morning beside you and wrap my arms around you holding on tight.  I know this is the only embrace I will get from you today.  It wasn't long ago we could not be apart.  When we were seperate we longed to be back in eachother's arms.  Now I beg for a hug and what I get is cold and pushed away.  Please tell me to hold onto Hope!

I try to understand this thing you call depression, but I do not.  You are so beautiful and smart.  You are creative, caring, dedicated, and can have the attitude to always get things done with so much spirit.  You have conquered demons, praised the Lord, and shared your love.  Where are you now and how can you not rejoice in who you are?  Please tell me to hold onto Hope!

I see your destructive behavior and I know that you are doing yourself harm.  You do not have the strength to fight against that which is wrong.  I am here to support you in everyway I can, but I can not fight those battles for you.  Maybe the medications will help you find your way back.  I am so Thankful that you are seeing a doctor and trying to find some way to deal.  This may take time to find the right balance to start living our lives again.  Please tell me to hold onto Hope!

Yes, please tell me to hold onto Hope!  It is those moments when you open up to me and those times you reassure me that your love is still there, that help make me stronger so I can be there more for you.  So much I want to share with you in this life and yet right now it seems we struggle to make it through each day.

My hopes, prayers, and ALL my Love goes out to you, in hopes that together we can fight this disease to live life to the fullest.  Forgive me for not knowing how to fight this, for not understanding, and for asking you to please tell me to hold onto Hope!

With All my Love Forever

Epic Failure

"Just give me a smile and let me know you're thinking of me at times and I will be happy to struggle with you."

"I believe in you.  I believe in us.  I will Love you Forever."

"I may not fully understand what my wife is going through, but you are worth giving everything I can to be here always for you."

For all my talk of Unconditional Love Forever, I failed to be there when she needed me.  I chose not to be there for her needs because I felt like she hurt my feelings.  Feelings are not facts.  I took things personally when I should have been her support.  Her needs should always come before my wants.

I am sorry.  I made a mistake, but I am not living in guilt.  I am learning from my mistake and will be there for her when she needs me.  She asked, "What is happening to to us?"  I think we both Love eachother so much still that we do not want to hurt the other so we hurt ourselves trying so hard.

Lord I pray you help me not to take things personally, but to realize that the illness is what we are fighting and that she is still the person that I insist I will Unconditionally Love. Forgive me when I feel offended or take my eyes off of how wonderful and caring my bride is.  Above all I Love my wife, support my wife, and WILL be there for her ALWAYS!

Help me remember my words daily and give her my full undivided attention.  She is worth it!

With All My Love Forever

Reaching Out

Last night I texted a random number and asked for someone to just listen to my problems.  I have no idea who responded but am so Thankful that they were willing to text for a couple hours.  I am dealing with a Loved one that is going through depression and I needed some support.  Through the internet I have realized that I am not alone and that my Loved one has an illness.  Sometimes it is hard not to take things personally.  I so want my Loved one to be back to the person I married, the person I vowed to Love Forever Unconditionally.

I have never done a blog and not sure what to do from here, but I have to reach out to take care of myself so I can better take care of my Love.  I know this may seem a little crazy but, here is my number, 734 277-3595.  If someone ever needs someone to text to or listen to them I will do my best, because of a stranger taking the time for me.

Thank you

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