diagnosedanxious_always

The first time I cut I was in grade 8. It really didn't mean anything. Others had done it so I wanted to try. I had watched videos about it and EVERY SINGLE ONE said I wouldn't be able to control it. I thought I was different, special, that I'd be the one girl to control it but I couldn't, god I was stupid. So it went into grade 9, I kept cutting getting deeper and deeper until the middle of the year I went to the doctor and blah blah blah, basically I was diagnosed with social anxiety and generalized anxiety so now I'm on medication for it all. In grade 8 I had the worst friends they always put me down and made me feel like crap and since I have found new friends I've been feeling so much better I used to not see myself living past grade 9 but now I can see myself graduating. I'd like to call that progress but things could change. I hope they don't. I love my life right now, even if I always think of killing myself. I can restrain myself from doing it. I don't want to hurt the ones I love and leave them. -F.T