My First Post....finally

Yes I am depressed. I always have a smile on my face though. Ones that really can read my face can see the sadness I carry with me. My life is good, I know this and I am grateful...so why do I feel guilty that I get depressed? I have teenage children and a house and a husband to take care of...again I know I am lucky and I am grateful. I need to help myself feel better. Usually I can rebound, times I have felt suicidel I manage to get throughthoses times because I know the feeling will pass. Not that I feel suicidal but I do feel I will feel depressed forever. Does anyone ever feel like this?