... a depression and anxiety blog and chat room community.

Bookmark and Share

Why don't they just get over it?

I don't understand how people can be so selfish. How they can just go through life without caring about who they hurt. Sure, I've made some rotten choices but who hasn't? I mean seriously. My life hasn't been exactly perfect, When I was about two I was taken away from my mother by my father for two years, in that time I have blocked out everything, I know what I would remember wouldn't be very good. After that I have lived in almost ten different states, my mother dragging me around for so long to go live with guys she met online. There were a few nice ones, ones that I liked, but they either got to see what my mother was really like or she got bored, but sure enought after maybe a year or so we would be off again. My mother saying everytime "This time it will be good, This time we will find our home." But we never did. Still sometimes I look back and wonder why she did it, couldn't she see that she was hurting me? When she said she was trying to protect me really it wasn't that at all. She was trying to protect the only thing she had left. It wasn't me, it was her life, the thing that, for 14 years she had clung to until I pulled away. Almost Exactly one year ago. I live now with her sister, who sometimes I wish had never taken me in. She will come home and be angry at me for something that isn't my fault. She will nag at me about what I wear. I cook for the family, clean for the family, work for the family, look after three children that would really like to kill me for her, While I try to keep up with school, my few friends, and soon a job. But I don't think she cares, all she sees when she looks at me is my mother's faliure. Sometimes I'm not even that. Two years before I moved here I got in with a really bad crowd, I carried around knives, did drugs when my friends had some, smoked, cut... A lot... And I was just a bad person who had given up on life. But For this family I stopped all of that, except cutting but even that has gone down. Sometimes I just want to scream... Sometimes I just cry... But no matter what I do, I never do it in front of her... Why should I? I don't trust her, I probably never will. But Soon I want to be free of her... Very soon.

Depression Blogs - Depression Journals - Anxiety Blogs - Anxiety Journals - Depression Chat Rooms - Anxiety Chat Rooms

Copyright 2010 www.depression-blogs-chat-rooms.org All rights reserved.