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just wanna $mi)e

about 2 years ago my first nephew was born and that night my dad cought me in bed with my boyfriend at the time we were just fooling around together and my dad flipped out the cops were called and everything was a big deal. A couple weeks later i went home from school early was laying on the chair and i had taken my jumper off nd i had my left arm showing my mother saw that i have self harmed and it kinda seemed she was mad.

i was scared and alone at this time my mum nd dad had been camping down the back becuase my nephew was crying all the time and my sister was always grumpy

i had a room outside where dad caught my ex and i and i didnt like being in there.So i slept inside infront of the tv nd fall asleep. My brother used to abuse me calling me all sorts of names when it was just him and i witch made me feel even more alone the only one i had was this guy named ashley who was a friend i met on fb had never met him face to face but i knew his friend so i knew he wasnt should random werido.

he become my best friend during those days and now we have been dating for a little over a year and living together for about 7 months

His still my best friend and i know his there for me its just that i have trouble useing my mouth to speak to poeple and idk why i cant just talk to him i no he is there for me its just hard

And not only am i living with him im also living with his mum and 10yr old sister

his mum sometimes i feel like she moking me like today i baked a cake with the lil sister and i asked his mum if i had the oven on the right setting coz its different to the one i grow up with i was just double checking and after it was all ready nd most of it was gone (i didnt have any)

she came up to me and said i did a rly good job ( in tht voice youd used talking to a child) and made me have a lil bit just to see how good it was and then she said `see you CAN cook` (in tht voice) and i looked at my boyfriend and he said it too in the same way a few times and he knows i dont like that she treats melike that and always always points out my mistakes and makes a big deal about them

 

i thought i was through with crying and feeling this way i just want it to go away

i wanna laugh and smile And truly mean it

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