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The illusion of romantic love

Love-the age old tragedy that recurs thoughout history. I believe I used to be a rosy eyed idealist who believed in "true love" and its magic. I'm sad to say I have lost faith in this illusion. I've known my husband for close to a decade now and been married for over a year. It's with a hevy heart that I have to admit that I believe my marriage is over. I've been trying so hard for so long to fight for this relationship, but what is the point when we are both not willing to put in the time or effort to see things through. I've been brought up by two amazing parents who have instilled the values of marriage and family life in me , yet I find it so difficult to stay true to these values. How do you fix something when all the pieces keep cutting deeper into you everytime you try? Being in a committed relationship with someone you love and who loves you back is suppose to enhance your life and being. You bring out the best in each other and help each other grow towards thier potential. All we seem to be doing recently is ripping each other apart. Looking back now I wish we didn't get married. We are both set in our own ways with our own selfishness and stubborness clouding our minds and hearts. This tempoary insanity we called love just isn't strong enough to save us. Maybe it's all my fault and I'll take the blame for it. I just don't have the energy or optimism to make it work anymore. I've never thought of my life with someone else but I don't see any reason to  stay in this marriage anymore. I used to dream of waking up with you every morning, now I just pray we can go to bed without me having to cry all night and you ignoring my sobs.What's the point? I write my heart out today butI know tomorrow we will go back to existing as if nothing ever happend and as if the fine thread holding our relationship together isn't already severed.

1 comment

Comment from: stephanie [Visitor]
Hello, I must say your marriage reminds me of my relationship. Im with the man I love, father of my kids, companion, and best friend. However, he has cheated on me a few times in the past, nothing physical...except with one chick when we were seperated, but all have been on his facebook, email, or on other social networking sites. Ive never cheated on him and thats real but i constantly find myself trying to prove my trust to him. He swears to me that he knows my secrets, but how do you prove to someone that youve always been faithful? My relationship is strained and my tears flow by the many, and he will sit there and just let me cry. No sympathy or compassion of any kind. Recently, i found a message to a lady he was trying to meet up with out of town, but tells me thats my fault for finding the message because i shouldnt have went through his phone! I couldnt believe it, but thrn i could because thats the type of person he is when he is mad at a me..a complete ass! We both have questioned the relationship and are trying to keep our family together, but i dont know how long this trying will last. I am so sorry your marriage is breaking up and i hope that you can find peace within your heart. Time heals all wounds and you may actually find relief once you both are apart.
06/18/13 @ 19:22

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