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homebody; blog after #7 Christmas re: invisible girl

A special hello to Invisible girl who was kind enough to answer me back. It was especially nice to hear from someone who knows what Eastenders are all about. (Good telly series, that was!) Invisible girl, I wonder if you or your folks still say "blimey!" Roy did. He also phrased things typically. For instance, I walk in and he says " Well I went to the store then, didn't I?" That's not a question, it's a statement for those of you who might read this and not understand. I would have no idea where he'd been,; he just told me, didn't 'e? He actually did make some sounds that were right out of "My Fair Lady." Dear God, how I miss him! He had the most contagious laugh....and he laughed alot. I almost never met a person who didn't love him.

 They say that one true love is a blessing and so it is. I have no lofty high expectations of ever getting another. Still, I am poor now. Oh, we were up, down, and all around financially. Anyway, another husband in my old age might be nice. Roy is WAY too tough of an act to follow; I have no delusions. The fellow I'm seeing now  (Yes, we are back in touch. I didn't ask if he read this and he didn't offer.) is both generous and kind (I think) But he scares me. He's 65, so I can understand that time is a-wasting, but he seems in so MUCH of a hurry! I'm leery of that. He said that he wasn't sure if I really wanted a man in my life; good question. I don't really know if it is fair to anyone else to be with me if all I want is not to be alone anymore and because I would like some security.

I saw my GP today, and she said that I have to get another counselor since I got Baker-Acted. At least she pointed me towards some. They are few and far between around here which is why I'm on this site. My last one dropped me after I caught him in a lie and I told him to F--K OFF! He said some very choice, hurtful things to me when he told me he wouldn't be my counselor anymore. He started shouting "Do you want to know what I REALLY think of you?" Then he pulled back and wouldn't. Obviously it wasn't going to be anything flattering. Twice now my  ex and I had the same counselor. I don't care how impartial they say they can be, it's a conflict of interest. Also, I have to go for more tests; problem thyroid. Maybe that's helping me get fat, too. Yesterday, I ate 2 cans of chunky soup and one piece of bread....the holidays won't help anyway.

Once again, I am SO tired! I have a dinner date on Monday....today is Thursday. I hate crowds, I just don't do well around lots of people. I mean, any more than one....that's why we skipped the weekend.

Invisible girl, you hang in there. I will look for your new posts. With a name like yours I think you really need to know that somebody is listening.

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