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26
May

So I'm trying to figure this out.

Being single is probably situationally ideal for me at the moment, but it sure has gotten old in a hurry.  I miss having someone to connect to without barriers.  I wouldn't mind having someone to talk to on occasion.

How pathetic.  I've got to find a new job.  I can't keep coming here because I can't get this woman out of my head.  I always got annoyed at guys who would obsess and wouldn't shut up about whomever their crush was.  At least I don't pester anyone about this one.  It's damn sad when my big social outlet is going to work.

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25
May

Tonight's Show: Honky Kong & The Dumpy White Guys

I think that I may post a bit more here than I would elsewhere about what's actually on my mind.  There's nobody here that knows me outside of the bits and bytes of the computer screen.  So I can probably be more open than I otherwise would be on LiveJournal.

Forgetting to take one's medicine one day is generally not considered a good idea.  I sometimes fail to realize that my body won't learn to heal itself of this chemical imbalance that bupropion helps fix.  I suppose that the idea of medicine is to stabilize the patient.  It doesn't remove the unpleasurable (and rather annoying) aspects of one's life; it just gets the patience to a point where he can function.

I've got this weird way of categorizing people.  Most people are external "separates."  You can gauge within reason how to interact with them, but they're no more than acquaintances.  Then there are "equals."  Equals are people with whom you're comfortable and with whom you're compelled to be open.  Their method of organizing thought, intelligence, and motivations are akin to yours.  They're not on a separate pedestal; they're on the same one with you.

I'm seeing a co-worker as an equal.  I fear that I would want to open my heart to her and give myself to her completely without expecting anything in return.  (How annoying!)  Logically, I know that I will not pursue her.  The thought of dating a co-worker is not something I'd consider; the drama is not worth the efforts.  My emotions are rather persistent it not permitting me to just let this one go.  "Forget about it."  "No!  It's fun to think about this!"

I suppose I could always just go find another job and be done with it.

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