to express myself only when I feel upset. Tonight has been yet another bad night. Emotionally especially. Its like things go goood.. then extremely bad. I just dont know how to deal with it. I'm not so much in the mood to blog tonight. I have therapy in the morning, so we'll see how that goes for me. Hopefully good (: And hopefully sober. Idk how good I'll feel since I changed my alcohol of choice as of tonight-thinking vodka has no calories, realizing I was wrong. Still. Things are 100% changing.

So. I'm not even sure where to start. Tonight, was just a bad night. To summarize it: belts, a lot of yelling, some alcohol, and two people so miserable with their own lives that there's no way they could make a relationship work. Or so thats how it feels at the moment. It's so much more than this, but that's just the short version. The long version would take me years to explain.

Anywho. For tonight, I'm just gonna leave things by saying that Sleep sounds nice. Doesn't sound possible. I'm trying to not break down, and I'm running out of things to prevent that. I need someone to talk to.. but that person is asleep on the couch where he should be. So here I am. hoping I can sleep. And wishing that things could be different. We'll see how things go in the morning.

I'm tired of lies. I'm tired of being depressed. I'm ready for change.

Goodnight.

KimNicole.