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Sad birthday.

May 24th, 2011

I wish I knew why I cried so easily, I work with 2 woman who both lost their daughters at a very young age (One was 18 the other was 17, she went to my school), was talking to one of them and started crying uncontrollably. why do bad things happen to good people? I feel like my heart is breaking for them both.

My great granmother just passed away in febuary, she was 94 years old. I miss her so much. I keep wanting to go visit her grave, brought her flowers on mothers day. Then my nana (grandma) just had to go to the hospital a couple weeks ago cause she fell, had to get her hip replaced. she's the closest thing I've ever had to a mother. I'm  so worried about losing her.

Just got my blood drawn yesterday for a follow up test to one I got done 2 weeks ago. My eyes started turning yellow on and off for the last 2 months, figured it was due to drinking but didn't want to except I had a problem till several friends and my boyfriend confronted me and told me I was an alcoholic and I was killing myself. I've been without a drink for 2 weeks now, I want one so bad. I feel like everything in my life is collapsing around me.

My 21st birthday was on this past sunday (the 22nd) It made me feel like such *rap having to make up excuse after excuse as to why I wasn't drinking and celebrating cause I was too embarresed and ashamed to tell all my friends I was an alcoholic to the point of liver problems before I even hit 21. I've been drinking for the past 5 years now.

I feel like a bad person, maybe that's why bad things happen to me.


 

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