Today was like every other non-interesting day of my life. I woke up with zero energy and dragged myself into the shower and got ready for school. When I finally arived I was met with a failed test in geography, and a more then useless counseller. So once I managed to finish all of my four periods I went home and cooked dinner for my family then went and slept for 2 hours. When I woke up I went out with my friend Carrot to go halloween costume shopping, yes I know I am a little old for it but I still go out for halloween. Over all today was a bit better towards the end but I feel my mood slipping back down into my normal depressive state.

I am still trying to think of a way to tell my parents that I am bisexual. So far they dont know and its really stressing me out that I cant work up the courage to get on and say it to them. My anxiety is getting worse as well, which is pretty hard for me to handle. My family doesnt know I struggle with depression, bipolar disorder and off and on anxiety. I know I should probably sit down and talk to them about it, but I just feel like it will make things more complicated. So I decided its just not worth it even though it would probably help me at least a little sometimes to have some support in my life.

Last month my bestfriend/boyfriend told me that he never wants to talk to me again. Dispite that he insisted he didnt hate me, he said it was because he just couldnt trust me anymore and that he couldnt handle being around me anymore. I just dont make him as happy as I use to. All of this of course was my fault but it still broke my heart. I still am trying to get over him and shove my guilt aside. I said I was sorry for it many, many, many times but he said he cant ever forgive me.

Other then that I just hope that life can get better for me, I have stopped lying completely. Never again will I lie ever. I have started treating myself a little better then I use to, and have become the person everyone wants me to be. Maybe the combination of all of those things will be able to improve my life and state of mind. But I honestly doubt that is possible seeing as for the past 4-5 years I have been living in this negative mind frame.

Today From 1-10:

6