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A long long time ago....

a dear little girl faced many problems. Most of which she didn't have to endure. She saw her father abuse her mother. And it was scary. She used to run up to her bed and cry. She thought "When I grow up I will beat my father back".  However she also experienced wonderful feelings. Feelings she could not describe. They were addictive though. Her uncle introduced them to her. She took them in gladly, foolishly. She brought her brother into her euphoria as well, without realizing. Such a beautiful, flawed nymphet, she was. Then she grew up. At the age of 15, the nymphet had turned and began to see her uncle as a criminal. How could he? She trusted him. She trusted her father. And he had brought that upon her. She stayed quiet and kept it to herself. She couldn't continue like that. Hence, she told a few. A councelor whom she hated. She lied to get past her. She hated herself. She hated how she had become an introvert due to such an insignificant matter. She changed. She left her previous friends, equally sad and on the ledge and established a new facade for herself. She became that funny, loud, crazy, friendly girl everyone knew. I should not fail to mention that along the way, her education took the back seat while her social life took over. At 17, she felt another change. She felt she was getting noticed. She felt pretty and confident. Full of herself. Proud. I am fine, I can get through this. Then the walls came crumbling down. She looked around her and found all of her friends not whom she thought they were. She had seen past their masks. Her best friend had become a selfish bitch, whom cared not a little for others. That friend had been the only one anchoring her to the ground. The only true confidante. Suddenly she had disappeared. The girl was left alone. With nobody to really rely on. She tried to connect with others. They did not fail to disappoint her. All of them. Nobody cared about her. Only themselves. So she kept everything to herself even as she became more and more frightened of the monsters around her. The war in her head kept her occupied. Too occupied. She nearly failed all her exams. All of those around her had made it. With enviable grades, beautiful, perfect smiles, smooth skin and perfect bodies. None of them had noticed, while basking in each others' glorious presence, that small girl whom they have always laughed at had fallen. She felt stupid, inferior, ugly, fat, talentless, hopeless, useless, suicidal. She did try. Oh she tried so hard. She went to the councelor. That bitch made her fall to her knees, stripped of all her defences, crying. That bitch sat on her high chair while laughing at the misery of this over-dramatic teenager. The girl turned to her selfish friends, told some bits and pieces of her suffering, but never everything to any one person. She did not dare to burden them with her problems. Who was she anyway? Everybody looked down on her. She had self-respect and believed in her existence. But it did not take too long for the acidic surroundings to corrode that. With a massive war waging incessantly in her mind, she kept trying. Her hand kept grasping for help. She typed all of her troubles out for the anonymous reader. Would anybody even read this? She thought, exhausted.
Tags: my story
Permalink 11/26/12 06:47:07 am , by leena Email , 3407 views, leena, Leave a comment »

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