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WHY I CANT TALK TO ANYONE

In my house people just dont want to talk to each other about problems or they see the problems of others as something that they should just get over. I use the word house and not home because a home is a place where a family lives. But this is no home this is a house full of broken strangers who each think that their problems outweigh those of everone around them. They dont want to talk to each other but also want their problems to be solved. Then when people do share their problems either they go ignored or people just change certain things to appease them while their own problems grow. The majority of the time these people dont take each others problems seriously or just think that they already know what the problem is with some dime store psychology. The reality is that if people who live together dont function well as a family unit then it might just be time to go their separate ways.

WHY I`M DISAPPOINTED

Growing up i`ve always seen my mother as a strong and independent woman. Because she kicked my father out when he put his alcoholism before his family. Since then she has always cared for me and my sister to the best of her ability until a little over a year ago. Thats when she invited our father back into our lives after 13 years because she beleived that he had changed and joined a home for people who were having tough times to find christ. But only after he had already moved in did she find out that he had been using drugs such as crack and drinking and had been kicked out of the group home. Knowing this she kicked him out but continuously has his come over and alows him to do whatever he wants while he`s here. He is a sociopath he can read peoples emotions like a book and exploits them in order to manipulate them. She doesn`t even notice it though and thinks that she`s still in control if I bring it up she has no idea what i`m talking about. It wasn`t until he moved here that I realized where I got it from because I usually do the same to people but there isn`t much that I need so I usually don`t need to. But lately i`ve begun to hate and despise my mother because i`ve realized that by allowing it she`s just as bad as him. He has a lot more experience then me so if I try to manipulate her emotions he`s better at it than me and I have been trying I think all i`m doing is making her feel badly about allowing it but she`s not stopping. If anyone who reads this agrees that this is wrong look up a man named John Ellison on facebook he will have no photo and send the message I am dissapointed.

WHY I`M GONNA DO IT SOON

Ever since my first suicide attempt i`ve tried to enjoy things in life so that it doesnt happen again but lately i`m getting closer and closer to that point again. I think I might do it soon and i`m just trying to think of the least painful way to do it at this point. I just wanted to get it off my chest I really don`t care if anybody reads this I probably won`t be posting again.

WHY I CANT LIVE IN MY OWN HOME

When my father first moved in I thought that it was bad but now its only gotten worse. He just sits around judging everybody except himself. He is what anybody would consider scum of the earth but he can still comment on everything that everybody in this family does because were not like him. He just goes around the house acting like an asshole and annoying everybody for fun and then when we get angry he gets angry. Then he just goes crazy on evrybody and starts doing everything angrily and insulting evrybody and its just driven me to the edge. I really dont know what to do anymore because theres no escape from this hell on earth. I`ve even considered killing him but I dont think I could get away with it. So now the answer seems clear I have to go but I dont want something painful or something as ineffective as last time. I might be here for a couple more weeks but after that my readers might not hear from he again.

WHY I REALIZED

Today I was told by my sister that I talk down to everybody. Which I dont see but I think that she assumes I talk down to people because she thinks I talk down to her. I really dont try to but she always takes things that I say the wrong way. Whenever I say that something she did was stupid she takes it as an insult and thinks that im calling her stupid. But many smart people do stupid things she just thinks to lowly of herself to think that. Theres also whenever someone corrects her. She says that it makes her feel stupid because she didnt know the correct way to say it. But she never wants to learn so you cant really complain about feeling stupid if you dont want to educate yourself. But I still manage to make friends and even when their being most candid with me they never actually say that I talk down to them. I dont think their lying because my friends have been honest to the point of insulting me and never brought that up. I try and be as honest with my close friends as possible and they are honest about personal things with me. So I really dont think that it would be a problem for them to tell me if they felt talked down to. Especially because they do have a somewhat high level of self respect. But my sister must be feeling insulted by my tone or the way I phrase things for some reason and now im worried about insulting her because she has never been to happy herself. In fact we`ve caught her cutting herself twice and she stopped going to therapy so I get worried about her level of happiness. I am looking for both constructive criticism and practicul advice please comment.

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