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Round Two

I had a severe bout of depression in 1996.  After 3 excruciating months I came through it and got my life back on track.  Those months consisted of sleepless nights, scaring my family and a sense of helplessness and hopelessness I never knew existed.

I have to confess though the fact that I won the battle with depression turned me into a mental health snob.  I figured if I could do it, anyone could.  You just got to want it bad enough.  What I didn’t realize until very recently, my  attitude was so wrong.  Depression is a condition that needs to be managed.  What works for me may not work for you.  Sometimes it’s a combination of things that works, not just one thing.  I urge anyone battling depression not to give up, keep looking for answers and try everything until your condition is managed.  Depression is not about character or about personal strength .

You may wondering why I came to the realization I was a mental health snob. In May of 2011 I went through round two of depression.  This time the depression was the sneaky kind.  I wasn’t sad or anything, I had positive thoughts etc.  I had a constant headache, no energy, couldn’t concentrate , no desire to be around people and I couldn’t sleep.  It was a quiet, dark, shadow in the background of my daily life.

The doctor put me on anti depressants and I was furious.  How dare he label me depressed when I’m not even sad?  I did trust my doctor and decided to take the medication anyway, and it turned out we were both right.  I was suffering from depression and also a medical condition that came to light within the early stages of being treated for the depression. 

I am doing great now.  I am still on the anti depressants for now. As hard as everything was, I wouldn’t change anything, it has made me who I am today.

And that is good enough for me.

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