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I'll Just Wait

I'll Just Wait.

He refers to himself, as my husband

He  seems to know me, my favorite things.

I look into his eyes, and feel empty

I'm told yes, we are a couple,

I can't help but wonder why.

Sometimes I get a glimpse of a man,

a kind and a gentle soul.

then he is gone again where, did he go?

I'll just sit here quietly,  and wait

for the man I use to know .

Lorack

 

 

This poem was written 3 months after  the night was admitted to the hospital.  I had several seizures.  Apparantly there was a few minutes when Ididn't  know who my boyfriend was and I was terrified of him.  At the hospital I was aware of what was going on but i couldn't talk.  Oddly, I was extremely calm.  I just let the events unfold because there wasn't a whole lot I could do about it.  I am fine now.  Actually I am better then fine.  That night changed me forever.  I liked who I was before but now I really like me.  I am not the same person.  I stand up for myself  now.  Sometimes I look in the mirror and think where the heck have you been all these years?  I still have bad days where my speech is slurred and walking is really bad. Those days makes me appreciate the good days even more.  One day I caught myself wondering what if that that confused state was  for the rest of my life.  Out of that came this poem.

 

 

 

 

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