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First post. Hopefully the last.

Alright, this is my very first post on this website. Let's see... Okay, I'll talk about this. Well, I have been having this problem with my girlfriend for quite a while now. It's something I've talked to her about, yet she hasn't shown much me much of an attempt to change. The problem is our communication. My girlfriend has been playing an online multiplayer video game constantly, for hours at end. First of all, she always seems to message me quick and brisk messages when she is playing. When she's not doing that, she's ignoring me. This affects me a lot because it makes me feel like she isn't placing any importance to our conversations or simply trying to reply anything so I won't feel lonely.

Secondly, the people she plays with. I don't dislike the people she plays with, but I can't help but feel left out when I see her play with them constantly each day. I honestly think- no, I know that she spends more time talking to them than me. The third point.. Err.. Complaint, I suppose, is that she doesn't want to change. I've come to that conclusion with all the crying, scratching, and heart-stabbing feelings I've had in all the time she has done this. "This isn't a relationship," I say to myself. I have thought of breaking up with her many times, yet I can't. I love her, yet I don't feel that it is right for me to feel this way almost every single day. We haven't called in a while. She says she doesn't try to ask me because she's afraid of rejection, but I told her many times that I would never reject a call from her. I can't help but feel that she is using that as an excuse to not talk to me.

Our conversations are always the same, but her conversations with her friends seem so colorful and great. Ours are so monotonous. Sometimes I wish I could simply be her friend again just so I can feel what it's like to have a real conversation with her. I don't know what to do. I contain all the pain every single day. I can't tell her about it because... What's the point? Every time I talk to her about it and she promises changes.. Or at least says she'll try. It never happens. She will get depressed if I talk to her about it. I'm to blame as well. I can't reach out to her because I don't want to hurt her, yet I think it's the right thing to do for this relationship. What am I to do?

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