... a depression and anxiety blog and chat room community.

Bookmark and Share

Can't Sleep

July 19th, 2010

written in the wee hours of the morning...


same ol' problem, different night...can't sleep.  My mind is like a fiber optic Christmas tree this evening - light and thoughts sparkling all over my mind.  Mine is not pretty like the Christmas optic trees, mine is more like a tree you would see bats flying around late at night and the sparkles are more like hyperactive stars in constant succession of activity.  My activity is absolutely unproductive and  a waste  of the sparkles of light that just keep on flashing.  Everything attached to me seems wasteful.  Fireflies wouldn't dare fly around my bat tree - their sparkles of light are too pretty and ordered to get mixed with the chaos zapping around my knotty, wretched, bent tree - full of bats.  Bats in the Belfry...

Fighting a hard day of depression is taxing like a tough sport - boxing or hockey...getting knocked around until that one unsolicited thought knocks you down.  I had one of those this evening. I hate the teeter totter, roller coaster, tilt a whirl ride that my spirit pulls me on every day.  I want to be medicine free but I know that I will never be free.  NEVER!  I am stuck in this lifestyle that is beyond my control. Brain chemistry - I am a science experiment going badly.  This is a great stopping point for today...certainly beats visiting the bridge images in my mind plus a few new ones I have conjured.


Depression Blogs - Depression Journals - Anxiety Blogs - Anxiety Journals - Depression Chat Rooms - Anxiety Chat Rooms

Copyright 2010 www.depression-blogs-chat-rooms.org All rights reserved.