My first blog
I am not sure why I started this or if I will continue. I am just searching for an outlet to help me deal with my depression. I was diagnosed over 10 years ago, and I think I am a functioning depressed person. That means that I hide my true feeling most of the time. Right now, I feel like the depression is starting to take over and I am not sure how to stop this. My chest is tight all the time and I thing a full blown panic attack is just a few days away. There are so many good things in my life, but I am focusing on the bad. I am sad about so much but feel guilty for being this way. There are so many people who are so much worse off than I am, so I don't feel I have a right to be such a complainer. But I am sad, and I worry that I am thinking about ways not to exist anymore. I am not sure where to turn to for help. My dream right now is just to drive, drive, drive and stop when I am tired. But I have so many people depending on me, that this is not possible. I just feel so alone.....................
