Thinking back, I'm quite sure my anxiety and depression started at a young age of 12... If that's possible. I wasn't sure of the fact until the start of this year, shortly after I turned 16 that this may not be what everyone feels. I’ve always thought that this was what every teenager felt, just like what the teachers have said, but I was wrong. It all started when I was enlisted to another school and being taken out of a comfortable environment. I was too attached to my old school and when I attended a new school, I had no idea what the social rules were, who to talk to. I was fresh out of Primary school and into a Secondary school where everyone had already established 'groups' and social ranks. I was the stereotypical 'shy new kid.' As an already shy girl, being pushed into that sort of environment caused me to retreat further into my mind as I refused to be motivated enough to do everything even though it all seems simple enough.

Since then, I've had hot and cold flushes at the most inconvenient times and anxiety attack during school without telling anyone about it. I don't feel proper, burdening the small number of my friends like that and I feel ashamed. Ashamed at how I can't bring myself to get over it. Though I am not suicidal, I am at a very high risk of of it. Now that I know what is happening mentally in my head, I'm not sure if I am relieved or upset about this news. I also have a couple of friends who feel this way but I can't bring myself to reveal that I may be feeling this way too; risking further burden to them. I have looked into my options, and this is the best way for me to vent out my feelings without being a bother to anyone.

My real name shall remain anonymous, but let's just pretend my name's Moukka.

I'm 16 this year, still in high school. I am currently living in Australia with my family and I have a problem. I need a way to get all my feelings out and recorded without burdening my families and friends and cause them to question themselves. This is my temporary solution. I don't know if I can get through this myself but I can damn well try.

I am a lot of things: writer, artist, friend, perfectionist, daughter, student and a human being. Being human includes having to face the future, either with your friends or alone. I am depressed but I am trying as well. This shall be the start of my journey.

If you do have any problems with me, do list them respectfully. It took me time and effort to find a way and make a blog like this and I will not appreciate anything negative in this site where I am trying my best to stay positive.