As I said before, I just started suffering of depression and it is very painful. Sometimes I don't think what I'm saying and I'm hurting the people around me. I got medication, which the doctor told me will start working in 3 or 4 weeks (why so long?) I wanted something that helped me right away, but that would be so easy right? Anyway, the side effects of the med are killing me... I don't sleep, I've been vomiting and I've been sick since I started treatment. As of today, I'm not taking the medication anymore and instead I chose another treatment that hopefully will help me. I'm reading the Bible and so far it has worked! It is giving me a calming effect and is opening my eyes to see myself as a worthy person. By saying this, I'm not saying that this is the best treatment ever or for everyone, but is working for me.

I can smile again (without feeling pain or guilt) and play with my kids. They need me. I think that at the end, everything has a solution, we just need to trust and be patient, I know sometimes this is difficult, but as my mom told me "If you don't help yourself first, nobody else can help you". I did think about this and she's right. The moment I implemented this, everything around me changed and people tend to understand me better.

I just started suffering from depression and I understand is very painful sometimes. I am still trying to understand so many things... Sometimes I don't know what to do and I feel very lonely. I feel unwanted and unloved although I know there is a lot of people around me who care about me. I want to get better for myself and my family, because I know they are suffering too. I really hope that this blog helps me feel better and I hope to help others anytime I can.