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Saturday, September 3rd, 2011

Why dont you love mee,,

Categories: msrugby1

I have a dad, but he doesnt want anything to do with me. i dont understand what is so wrong about me that he doesnt want me, i get good grades, i dont get into trouble, i work, and do what i can to please my family. he was around when i was little but then left my family for a new one, his new wife made him choose us or her about 2 years ago and every day i feel like i could of changed the situation in someway, i tried and tried to hold that relationshiop but i  lost faith he will ever want one, i jjust want to know what it is about me that i am not loved..

permalink 11:04pm by msrugby1 //comment 5736 views

Friday, September 2nd, 2011

tumbling down..

Categories: msrugby1

Everything was perfect about two to three months ago, when suddenly my life was flipped upside  down. a week before i was due to leave for college an 87 year old man hit and totaled my car at a red light, he was doing forty and i was at a dead stop.. my world suddenly changed. I had a full ride to the university of wisconsin and suddenly it all deceased. the guy i thought i was going to marry slowly faded away. my life began to go down hill. I had everything i have ever worked for right in front of me. I am not able to go to school because i have damaged ligiments and vertibres down my spine and a fractured sternum, the pain i feel every day keeps me from living a normal active life. every day i wake up and cry because i lost it all. my sleep pattern is way off. i want to sleep all day and night, i cant physically eat because i feel sick, and my emotions are way off. i felt strong and felt like i could handle the therapy, the distance of a relationship, and school but i cant even handle the pain i feel waking up every morning.. i dont know how to handle myself anymore.. i wake up and do what i have to do to get through the day, i wish i could get over the loss of everything but i just cant.. i just want to know when is it going to get better..

permalink 12:29am by msrugby1 //1 comment 1102 views

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